Including Siblings in Estate Planning for a Child with Special Needs

May 22, 2025

When parents plan for the future of a child with special needs, they often focus on legal and financial tools, like special needs trusts and government benefits. However, one crucial group is usually left out of the conversation: the siblings. Siblings may one day step into caregiving or advocacy roles, formally or informally. They may be expected to help manage a trust, ensure their brother or sister receives appropriate care, or provide emotional support. Including siblings in the estate planning process for a child with special needs creates a foundation for smoother transitions, reduces misunderstandings and gives everyone a clearer sense of their role.

Why Siblings Matter in Long-Term Planning

Siblings are likely to be the longest-standing relationships in a person’s life. As parents age or pass away, brothers or sisters often remain. Even when a sibling won’t serve as a primary caregiver or trustee, they will likely be involved in day-to-day support, communication with care providers, or an emotional anchor.

Nevertheless, siblings are often unaware of their parents’ intentions. They may not understand the purpose of a special needs trust or how decisions will be made after the parents are no longer involved. This lack of clarity can lead to confusion, resentment, or even legal conflict, particularly if siblings are also beneficiaries of the estate.

Opening the Conversation

Including siblings starts with honest communication. Parents should share the basics of their estate plan, explain how decisions have been made and invite questions or concerns. Topics may include:

Who will serve as the trustee or successor trustee of a special needs trust
How resources will be allocated among siblings
What expectations (if any) exist for caregiving or advocacy
How government benefits are being protected through legal planning

This conversation doesn’t need to happen all at once. Instead, family discussions can gradually unfold as siblings mature and understand each other’s needs. The key is ensuring that they feel informed and supported, not burdened.

Legal and Financial Education for Siblings of Special Needs Children

Parents should also ensure that siblings have access to the legal and financial information they may need someday for the family or the child with special needs. This may include providing copies of estate planning documents, explaining the function of the special needs trust, or walking them through how public benefits, like Medicaid or SSI, are affected by financial support.

Naming a sibling as a future trustee, power of attorney, or healthcare proxy without adequate preparation sets them up for stress and potential failure. Parents should consider naming a professional fiduciary or co-trustee to provide support if a sibling is unwilling or unable to serve in these roles.

Creating a Team Approach in Special Needs Planning

Planning doesn’t have to fall on one person’s shoulders. Families often succeed by creating a “care team” approach that includes parents, siblings, professionals and close family friends. Roles can be shared or divided—for example, one sibling might handle legal decisions while another provides social support.

Clear documentation of these roles within estate planning documents and written letters of intent helps ensure consistency if multiple people are involved in the care or oversight of a sibling with special needs.

Strengthening Family Bonds Through Inclusion

Including siblings in the estate planning process for a child with special needs isn’t just a practical decision—it’s an emotional one. It signals trust, values their role and lays the groundwork for cooperation. It also honors the future relationship between siblings, ensuring that love and respect continue even after the parents are gone.

Planning with siblings in mind helps prevent conflict, confusion and unintended consequences. Most importantly, it ensures that people with special needs receive the lifelong support they deserve. If you would like to learn more about special needs planning, please visit our previous posts.

Reference: MassMutual (July 19, 2023) “Living with special needs: The sibling perspective”

Photo by Antoni Shkraba Studio

Ways to Avoid Estate Disputes between Stepchildren

May 20, 2025

Estate planning in blended families comes with unique challenges. When stepchildren, stepparents and biological children are all involved, assumptions and emotions can complicate even the most well-intentioned plans. Conflicts over assets, inheritances and decision-making are more likely without a clear and legally enforceable estate plan. There are ways to avoid estate disputes between stepchildren.

While no estate plan can eliminate all tension, families who plan proactively can avoid common pitfalls that lead to disputes. Clarity, transparency and the proper legal tools make it possible to protect both your wishes and the well-being of your loved ones.

Why Stepchild Disputes are Common in Inheritance Planning

Stepchildren are not automatically entitled to inherit from a stepparent’s estate unless they’ve been legally adopted or are specifically named in a will or trust. This could lead to resentment, mainly if a close emotional bond existed during life but wasn’t reflected in the legal documents.

Alternatively, biological children may worry that a new spouse or stepchildren will “take” what was intended for them. If a surviving spouse remarries or rewrites the will, children from a prior marriage may be disinherited altogether. These fears—real or imagined—can cause deep family rifts and even legal battles.

Strategies for Preventing Conflict in Blended Families

The best way to prevent disputes is through clear and detailed estate planning. A professionally drafted will or trust should specify exactly how assets will be divided and why. This includes naming all intended beneficiaries, assigning specific gifts and documenting the roles of trustees or executors.

A revocable living trust can offer more control than a simple will for families with significant assets or complicated dynamics. Trusts allow for staged distributions, protect privacy and make it harder to contest inheritance decisions.

Another strategy is using prenuptial or postnuptial agreements to clarify what each spouse brings into the marriage and how it should be handled upon death. This provides peace of mind for both spouses and their children.

Communicating Inheritance Expectations Early

Estate plans are most effective when they don’t come as a surprise. Open communication is crucial, especially in blended families. While these conversations may feel awkward, they help set expectations, reduce suspicion and provide clarity.

Explaining contentious decisions, such as trust establishment or asset division, is essential to clarity and family cohesion. Explaining why one child receives more support than another can help family members understand your intentions and reduce the likelihood of conflict after your passing.

A written letter of intent, included with your will or trust, can be used further to explain your wishes and the reasoning behind them. This document has no legal authority but can be powerful in easing emotional tensions.

Choosing the Right Fiduciaries

Naming an executor or trustee perceived as neutral can help avoid conflict. In blended families, appointing one child or stepchild over another can raise concerns about fairness. Sometimes, a professional fiduciary—such as an attorney or trust company—may be the best option.

This approach ensures that your estate is administered according to the law and the terms of your plan, rather than through family politics. It also reduces the burden on loved ones who may already be coping with grief and loss.

Updating the Plan after Major Changes

Blended families often experience significant life changes—remarriage, new children, moves, or the death of a former spouse. Any of these events should prompt a review of your estate plan. Beneficiary designations, wills and trusts should reflect your current wishes and family structure.

Outdated documents can create confusion or lead to unintended outcomes. Regular reviews—ideally every few years or after significant life changes—keep your plan current and effective. Discuss with an estate planning attorney the ways your family can avoid estate disputes between stepchildren. If you would like to learn more about blended families and estate planning, please visit our previous posts.

Reference: The Wall Street Journal (June 1, 2024) “The Brady Bunch Breaks Down: Estate Fights Tear Stepfamilies Apart”

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Strategies to avoid Inheritance Disputes

January 22, 2024

One of the many aspects of a professionally created estate plan involves employing strategies to avoid inheritance disputes. Your estate planning attorney has various tools, from creating a revocable living trust to drafting a detailed and legally sound will, as outlined in the article “6 Estate Management Strategies to Avoid Inheritance Disputes and How to Implement Them” from Legal Reader.

Creating a revocable living trust and placing assets in the trust allows those assets to be passed to heirs directly and according to the instructions you provide in the language of the trust. Assets not in the will need to pass through the probate process, where those involved in the estate plan might need to attend lengthy and stressful court proceedings. In some jurisdictions, the court may require the presence of all heirs and even estranged family members who were not properly disinherited.

In the probate process, beneficiaries can air grievances if they are unhappy with the inheritance agreement and could potentially challenge the will. By passing assets via a trust, you can completely reduce or avoid the opportunity for these disputes to occur.

The foundation of a successful estate plan is a will created with an experienced estate planning attorney. A will is a legally binding document outlining how the decedent wanted their assets and property distributed upon death. The estate planning attorney will work with you to ensure the language in the will is extremely specific and leaves no room for interpretation.

Some assets pass through beneficiary designations, including life insurance policies, retirement, investment, and bank accounts. To avoid problems with these financial assets, regularly review and update beneficiary designations to avoid giving someone no longer in your life a generous gift. These should be reviewed anytime a significant life event occurs, like marriage, divorce, birth or death, changes in financial circumstances, or when you acquire new assets.

A prenuptial agreement can mitigate the risk of inheritance disputes by establishing specific terms and conditions in the event of a divorce. They are particularly important in states where the courts can divide property acquired during the marriage regardless of where the assets came from. By drafting documents explicitly declaring intentions about the treatment of inherited assets, you provide an additional layer of protection to assets in case of divorce. The process also fosters communication between parties to assist in clarifying expectations for the future.

A well-drafted no-contest clause can diminish the likelihood of legal battles among heirs and challengers. It helps dissuade disgruntled beneficiaries from pursuing costly litigation by putting any inheritance at risk if they should decide to pursue what they feel are unfair distributions. It is imperative to engage an experienced estate planning attorney licensed to practice law in your state to have an effective no-contest clause in a will or a trust.

In some situations, liquidating non-cash assets like real estate makes the most sense. It’s far easier to divide cash than proportions of real estate. However, a buyout arrangement can be implemented if one sibling wants to purchase the property. Beneficiaries could buy out each other’s shares if there’s more than one heir, eliminating the need to sell the asset.

By employing strategies to avoid inheritance disputes, you can ensure your will clearly articulates your wishes. If you would like to learn more about inheritance issues, please visit our previous posts.

Reference: Legal Reader (Dec. 4, 2023) “6 Estate Management Strategies to Avoid Inheritance Disputes and How to Implement Them”

The Estate of The Union Season 4|Episode 3

The Estate of The Union Season 2|Episode 11 is out now!

November 13, 2023

The Estate of The Union Season 2|Episode 11 is out now!

Sylvia Holmes makes a fabulous guest! She is a Travis County Justice of the Peace and she does much, much more than marry people. In this edition of The Estate of the Union, she describes what happens in the “Peoples Court” in an entertaining and insightful way. It’s everything from evictions to speeding tickets to truancy.

If you’ve ever wondered about where Judge Judy gets her cases for her TV show, Judge Sylvia shares that secret too!

We’ve got more than 30 other episodes posted and more to come. We hope you will enjoy them enough to share it with others. If you would like to learn more about Judge Holmes and JP Court, Precinct 3, please visit their website: www.traviscountytx.gov/justices-of-peace/jp3. The Travis County, Precinct 3 live stream can be found here: justiceofthepeacetraviscou8356

In each episode of The Estate of The Union podcast, host and lawyer Brad Wiewel will give valuable insights into the confusing world of estate planning, making an often daunting subject easier to understand. It is Estate Planning Made Simple! The Estate of The Union Season 2|Episode 11 is out now! The episode can be found on Spotify, Apple podcasts, or anywhere you get your podcasts. If you would prefer to watch the video version, please visit our YouTube page. Please click on the links to listen to or watch the new installment of The Estate of The Union podcast. We hope you enjoy it.

Texas Trust Law focuses its practice exclusively in the area of wills, probate, estate planning, asset protection, and special needs planning. Brad Wiewel is Board Certified in Estate Planning and Probate Law by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization. We provide estate planning services, asset protection planning, business planning, and retirement exit strategies.

Family Vacation Home need Planning for Future

July 24, 2023

As terrific as it may be to have a family vacation home, the same reasons it’s a wonderful thing can make it one of the most complex assets to pass to future generations. Everything’s great when the parents are alive and well. Still, over time this changes, as explained in a recent article, “Do family vacation homes foster closeness or animosity?” from The Press-Enterprise. The family vacation homes needs planning if you want it to be around for future generations to love and enjoy.

When parents are relatively young and hosting their children and visitors, life at the family vacation home is easy. Everyone knows the routines of the day, who cooks, who cleans, who is in charge of the barbeque, and where the best swimming is. Parents envision their children’s children coming every summer and enjoying the same relaxed bonding experience.

But life changes, especially as generations pass on. Leaving the family vacation home to all children in equal shares in a will or even in a trust could be a prescription for a family disaster. An idyllic place could turn into a family feud.

Who will be in charge of the vacation home? The eldest child, or the one who lives closest to it? Is one child wealthier than the others and more able to shoulder the costs of maintaining a second home? And as grandchildren grow up and have families of their own, deciding who will have access to the house during peak summer weeks can become acrimonious.

Start by having a family conversation to determine if the children (and grandchildren, if appropriate) want the vacation home to remain in the family. Do they all want it, and how do they expect to use it? Are they considering tearing it down and building a larger home, or could it become rental property?

If only one child wants the home, do they want to inherit it instead of receiving any other inheritance? Are there enough assets to equalize the gift? If not, you could give the child who wants the property the right to buy it from the others or your trust upon your death.

If more than one child is interested in the property, you’ll want to talk with an experienced estate planning attorney to plan the property’s future.

Any time more than one person is going to own a property together, they need to have an agreement detailing the rights and obligations of co-ownership. If the decision is made to keep the vacation home in the family, it may be best to leave it in a trust with specific terms for the use of the property, naming a trustee to manage the trust—one or two people, but not everyone in the family. The trust language must address how and when the property can be sold, who will pay for property taxes, utilities, minor and major repairs, and the terms for passing the property through generations.

If the family decides they’d prefer the property to become a rental property to generate income, consider putting it into a Limited Liability Company (LLC). Each of the heirs may have a membership interest in the LLC, one is designated as a manager, and an operating agreement is created to set out the terms for selling or otherwise transferring a membership interest.

An asset as special as a family vacation home needs and deserves planning for the future. Meet with an experienced estate planning attorney to create a plan for the future, then go and enjoy your time with the family. If you would like to learn more about managing real property in an estate plan, please visit our previous posts.

Reference: The Press-Enterprise (July 2, 2023) “Do family vacation homes foster closeness or animosity?”

Image by Monika Schröder

Protecting Inheritances in a Blended Family

April 10, 2023

Blended families have estate planning challenges differing from traditional families, explains a recent article from The Record Courier, “Estate Planning for Blended Families.” A blended family is one where one or both partners have children from a prior marriage. The details vary, but the concern is the same: the possibility for the children to be disinherited if after one spouse dies, the surviving spouse reduces or eliminates any provisions made for the deceased spouse’s children. Protecting inheritances in a blended family becomes a major priority.

A well-drafted estate plan, created by an experienced estate planning attorney, can address this issue to ensure that the deceased spouse’s children are protected and provided for after the death of their parent.

When creating the estate plan, consider what would happen if the surviving spouse remarried. This frames the drafting process in an optimal way for the children. Provisions should be made to protect them and a number of strategies may be used.

A simple last will and testament or even a revocable trust with no provisions typically won’t be enough to address the complex needs of a blended family. When the first spouse dies, the surviving spouse remains free to change the terms of their will, which could place the children of the deceased spouse at a disadvantage.

Designating an independent fiduciary can help ensure that the children of the deceased spouse have sufficient assets. The independent fiduciary can protect the children’s interests with no risk of self-dealing. An oversight by an independent fiduciary also minimizes the chances of conflict between children and stepparents.

A properly designed estate plan protects the children of both parents, regardless of which spouse dies first. One commonly-used strategy is to create a trust leaving the assets to the surviving spouse during the spouse’s lifetime but then passes the remaining assets to the children of the deceased spouse.

Another option is to divide the estate upon the death of the first spouse, with half the estate protected for the children of the deceased spouse. The surviving spouse has access to those assets for certain needs. However, limitations may be put into place. This is applicable if the two partners bring assets of equal size to the marriage.

In some cases, the strategy to ensure that children receive the assets intended for them upon their parent’s death is to leave them to the children outside of the trust, passing them directly by naming the children as designated beneficiaries on select accounts and/or life insurance policies.

If the children are minors, creating a separate trust may be an optimal means of protecting inheritances in a blended family.

A premarital or post-nuptial agreement is also used to clarify the rights and responsibilities of each spouse during the marriage and can also be used to specify the children’s living situation and expenses and require assets to be used to maintain their standard of living.

With mindful and comprehensive estate planning, couples can leave a financial legacy for all of their children, while still providing for surviving spouses. If you would like to learn more about blended families, please visit our previous posts.

Reference: The Record Courier (March 12, 2023) “Estate Planning for Blended Families”

The Responsibilities of Being a Guardian

December 14, 2022

Yes, it is an honor to be asked to be the guardian of someone’s children. However, you’ll want to understand the full responsibilities of being a guardian before agreeing to this life-changing role. A recent article from Kiplinger, “3 Key Things to Consider Before Agreeing to Be A Guardian in a Trust,” explains.

For parents, this is one of the most emotional decisions they have to make. Assuming a family member will step in is not a plan for your children. Naming a guardian in your will needs to be carefully and realistically thought out.

For instance, people often first think of their own parents. However, grandparents may not be able to care for a child for one or two decades. If the grandparent’s own future plan includes downsizing to a smaller home or moving to a 55+ community, they may not have the room for children. In a 55+ community, they may also not be permitted to have minor children as permanent residents.

What about siblings? A trusted aunt or uncle might be able to be a guardian. However, do they have children of their own, and will they be able to manage caring for your children as well as their own? You’ll also have to be comfortable with their parenting styles and values.

Other candidates may be a close friend of the family, who does not have children of their own. An “honorary” aunt or uncle who is willing to embark on raising your children might be a good choice. However, it requires careful thought and discussion.

Financial Considerations. What resources will be available to raise the children to adulthood? Do the parents have life insurance to pay for their needs, and if so, how much? Are there other assets available for the children? Will you be in charge of managing assets and children, or will someone else be in charge of finances? You’ll need to be very clear about the money.

Legal Arrangements. Is there a family trust? If so, who is the successor trustee of the trust? What are the terms of the trust? Most revocable trusts include language stating they must be used for the “health, education, maintenance, and support of beneficiaries.” However, sometimes there are conditions for use of the funds, or some funds are only available for milestones, like graduating college or getting married.

Lifestyle Choices. You’ll want to have a complete understanding of how the parents want their children to be raised. Do they want the children to remain in their current house, and has an estate plan been made to allow this to happen? Will the children stay in their current schools, religious institutions or stay in the neighborhood?

In frank terms, simply loving someone else’s children is not enough to take on the responsibilities of being a guardian. Financial resources need to be discussed and lifestyle choices must be clarified. At the end of the discussion, all parties need to be completely satisfied and comfortable. This kind of preparedness provides tremendous peace of mind. If you would like to read more about guardianship, please visit our previous posts.

Reference: Kiplinger (Nov. 17, 2022) “3 Key Things to Consider Before Agreeing to Be A Guardian in a Trust”

Steps to Minimize Inheritance Battles

December 1, 2022

There are steps to take to minimize, if not eliminate the likelihood of inheritance battles. Inheritance battles can create new conflicts, inflame long-standing resentments and squander assets intended to make heir’s lives better. What can families do to prevent estate battles when a loved one’s intentions aren’t accepted is the question asked by the recent article, “Warning Signs Of Estate Disputes—And Ways to Avoid Them,” from mondaq.com.

Here are the more common scenarios leading to family estate battles:

Siblings who are always fighting over something
Second or third marriages
Disparate treatment of children, whether real or perceived
Mental illness or additional issues
Isolation or estrangement
Economic hardship

The most important step to begin is to have an estate plan in place, including all the necessary documents to clearly indicate your wishes. You may want to include a letter of intent, which is not a legally enforceable document. However, it can support the wishes expressed in estate planning documents.

Update the Estate Plan. Does your estate plan still achieve the desired outcome? This is especially important if the family has experienced big changes to finances or relationships. An estate plan from ten years ago may not reflect current circumstances.

Make Distributions Now. For some families, giving with “warm hands” is a gratifying experience and can remove wealth from the estate to avoid battles as everything’s already been given away. The pleasure of seeing families enjoy the fruits of your labor is not to be underestimated, like a granddaughter who is able to buy a home of her own or an entrepreneurial loved one getting help in a business venture.

Appoint a Non-Family Member as a Trustee. Warring factions within a family are not likely to resolve things on their own, especially when cash is at stake. Appointing a family member as a trustee could cause them to become a lightning rod for all of the family’s tensions. Without the confidence of beneficiaries, accusations of self-dealing or an innocent mistake could lead to litigation. Removing the emotions by having a non-family member serve as a professional trustee can lessen suspicion and decrease the chances of legal disputes.

Communicate, with a facilitator, if necessary. Families with a history of disputes often do better when a professional is involved. Depending on the severity of the dynamics, this could range from annual meetings with an estate planning attorney to explain how the estate plan works and have discussions about the parent’s wishes to monthly meetings with a family counselor.

A No-Contest Clause. For some families, a no-contest clause in the will can head off any issues from the start. If people are especially litigious, however, this may not be enough to stop them from pursuing a case. An experienced estate planning attorney will be able to recommend the use of this provision, based on knowing the family and how much wealth is involved.

Addressing the problem now. The biggest mistake is to sweep the issue under the proverbial rug and “let them fight over it when I’m gone.” A better legacy is to address the problem of the family squabbles and know you’ve done the right thing.

Taking steps to minimize inheritance battles can reduce the stress you may feel as we head into the holiday season. These efforts to bring families together and prepare for the future will allow parents, children and grandchildren to enjoy their time together. If you would like to learn more about inheritance issues, please visit our previous posts.

Reference: mondaq.com (Nov. 4, 2022) “Warning Signs Of Estate Disputes—And Ways to Avoid Them”

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Category: Siblings

Ways to Avoid Estate Disputes between Stepchildren

Why Stepchild Disputes are Common in Inheritance Planning

Strategies for Preventing Conflict in Blended Families

Communicating Inheritance Expectations Early

Choosing the Right Fiduciaries

Updating the Plan after Major Changes

Strategies to avoid Inheritance Disputes

The Estate of The Union Season 2|Episode 11 is out now!

Family Vacation Home need Planning for Future

Protecting Inheritances in a Blended Family

The Responsibilities of Being a Guardian

Steps to Minimize Inheritance Battles

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